So my boyfriend and I were talking the other night and I asked him what if we had a daughter? Not what we want, but it's a possibility. Seeing as we already decided on what we'd name our son if we had one, why not plan ahead and chose for a daughter?
I wanted her first name or second name to be a derivative of Emily (Emmy, Ema, Emmaline..), but I wanted two names if it was a girl. I find it sounds more sophisticated when a girl has two names, I do and so does my sister. My brother's lucky, he's got three. Two first names and a second name 'cause my parents couldn't agree on what his first name should be.. So he asked me what girl names I liked and I jokingly said I love the name Primrose. Which I do, a lot. Not because of the obvious connection people would make with the Hunger Games (which I am a huge fan of by the way), but because when I was younger there was this shade of purple/pink that was really deep and I fell in love with it right away and has been my favorite color since. I'll c/c a picture of the color for those of you who don't know what it looks like. But anyways, when I told him the name Primrose he laughed at me and asked if it was because of the HG, and I explained to him what I said above. He said that it was a nice name when you take it in that context and not **SPOILER FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT HAVEN'T READ CF** connecting it with the innocent girl that gets blown up to hurt Katniss and break her. So, if we have a daughter her name is going to be Primrose Emilia.
Sure, I think a lot of people in my generation are probably going to name their kids after book characters, especially those with a hardcore fan following, or those who are into multiple fandoms, but honestly if you take those names out of the books and into the world of reality, they're really nice, old-fashioned names.
Sudden topic change: Probably going to see my best friend this weekend, well like tomorrow night till Sunday afternoon, and my boyfriend's having a party-kinda-thing and everyone's gonna be drinking, except me. I can't drink cause I'm trying to get pregnant. Not relevant, continuons, donc: I haven't seen +Chanelle in like a few months and I'm a little bit homesick right now. Actually pretty freaking homesick. I live right on the border and there's no one I know here. I don't have any friends or direct family up here, just my future in-laws, but I still feel so alone. Some days I'm okay, and I don't feel so lost; but recently I've been feeling more and more lost and alone. My boyfriend does his best, he's really supportive and understanding and I know that sometimes he feels guilty about taking me away from everything I've known my whole life just so he can be happy. Really, I like seeing him happy, it makes me feel like I'm doing something. I like to feel needed and useful because I've spent so much of my life being made feel useless and like a waste of space.
And I had the weirdest dream last night: I had a son and I hadn't seen him since he was born and I was going to visit my parents and my Gramma was bringing my son over so I could see him and take him home but she came with my aunt and her daughter who was about two in my dream. As they're pulling into the driveway I realize that my son is three months old and thinks that my aunt and grandmother are his parents. It made me really sad that because of whatever I was doing with my life had prevented me from caring for him like I should have. I went out to the car to take him out and my Gramma tells me to be careful 'cause he's sleeping and then my aunt takes him into the house, totally ignoring me and acting like he was her son. That sorta ticked me off because we had made a deal; when the time came for me to take him back, that was it. But then I saw that all my cousins were also coming over and my uncles were there with their wives and I realized that it was probably for the best that they thought that my son was hers for now. After everybody left, my aunt took my baby and brought him into the guest room so he could sleep. I followed her and sat on the floor next to the bed so I could watch him sleep. She stood there and told me that she thought I was a terrible mother because I wanted to have a good career more then I wanted a child. Then she walked out. While I stared at my son I saw that he looked a lot like his dad. Some time went by I guess 'cause then it was supper-time and I got to feed my child for the first time since we both left the hospital. His eyes were a greenish-blue already. When my boyfriend came to pick me up, we stopped by my grandmother's to pick up all of our baby things so we could take him home. When I woke up I actually felt sad. There's no way I'll let that happen if I have a baby; it's my child for me and my boyfriend to take care of full time, no one else's.
A COLOR SWATH: PRIMROSE
I wanted her first name or second name to be a derivative of Emily (Emmy, Ema, Emmaline..), but I wanted two names if it was a girl. I find it sounds more sophisticated when a girl has two names, I do and so does my sister. My brother's lucky, he's got three. Two first names and a second name 'cause my parents couldn't agree on what his first name should be.. So he asked me what girl names I liked and I jokingly said I love the name Primrose. Which I do, a lot. Not because of the obvious connection people would make with the Hunger Games (which I am a huge fan of by the way), but because when I was younger there was this shade of purple/pink that was really deep and I fell in love with it right away and has been my favorite color since. I'll c/c a picture of the color for those of you who don't know what it looks like. But anyways, when I told him the name Primrose he laughed at me and asked if it was because of the HG, and I explained to him what I said above. He said that it was a nice name when you take it in that context and not **SPOILER FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT HAVEN'T READ CF** connecting it with the innocent girl that gets blown up to hurt Katniss and break her. So, if we have a daughter her name is going to be Primrose Emilia.
Sure, I think a lot of people in my generation are probably going to name their kids after book characters, especially those with a hardcore fan following, or those who are into multiple fandoms, but honestly if you take those names out of the books and into the world of reality, they're really nice, old-fashioned names.
Sudden topic change: Probably going to see my best friend this weekend, well like tomorrow night till Sunday afternoon, and my boyfriend's having a party-kinda-thing and everyone's gonna be drinking, except me. I can't drink cause I'm trying to get pregnant. Not relevant, continuons, donc: I haven't seen +Chanelle in like a few months and I'm a little bit homesick right now. Actually pretty freaking homesick. I live right on the border and there's no one I know here. I don't have any friends or direct family up here, just my future in-laws, but I still feel so alone. Some days I'm okay, and I don't feel so lost; but recently I've been feeling more and more lost and alone. My boyfriend does his best, he's really supportive and understanding and I know that sometimes he feels guilty about taking me away from everything I've known my whole life just so he can be happy. Really, I like seeing him happy, it makes me feel like I'm doing something. I like to feel needed and useful because I've spent so much of my life being made feel useless and like a waste of space.
And I had the weirdest dream last night: I had a son and I hadn't seen him since he was born and I was going to visit my parents and my Gramma was bringing my son over so I could see him and take him home but she came with my aunt and her daughter who was about two in my dream. As they're pulling into the driveway I realize that my son is three months old and thinks that my aunt and grandmother are his parents. It made me really sad that because of whatever I was doing with my life had prevented me from caring for him like I should have. I went out to the car to take him out and my Gramma tells me to be careful 'cause he's sleeping and then my aunt takes him into the house, totally ignoring me and acting like he was her son. That sorta ticked me off because we had made a deal; when the time came for me to take him back, that was it. But then I saw that all my cousins were also coming over and my uncles were there with their wives and I realized that it was probably for the best that they thought that my son was hers for now. After everybody left, my aunt took my baby and brought him into the guest room so he could sleep. I followed her and sat on the floor next to the bed so I could watch him sleep. She stood there and told me that she thought I was a terrible mother because I wanted to have a good career more then I wanted a child. Then she walked out. While I stared at my son I saw that he looked a lot like his dad. Some time went by I guess 'cause then it was supper-time and I got to feed my child for the first time since we both left the hospital. His eyes were a greenish-blue already. When my boyfriend came to pick me up, we stopped by my grandmother's to pick up all of our baby things so we could take him home. When I woke up I actually felt sad. There's no way I'll let that happen if I have a baby; it's my child for me and my boyfriend to take care of full time, no one else's.
A COLOR SWATH: PRIMROSE
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