Suddenly been dying for a bagel with cream cheese. A nice toasted, 12-grain bagel with Philly cream cheese on top. I can taste it.
Like a Pom bagel, not one for Tim's (even though the picture is from Tim's).
I'm also getting sick, yesterday I slept from 4.30am (I had homework to finish) and woke up at 4.30 pm and felt like crap the whole rest of my "day" (until about midnight). Today I actually woke up with my boyfriend at about eight am and I haven't eaten yet, even though I should. But my stomach's just in upheaval and I'm not sure anything's going to sit right. I'll go make something light and take my pill and hopefully I'll feel better.
I wish I could make sandwiches like my dad can. He bakes them in the oven, a really tasty twist on regular grilled cheese sandwiches. He piles them with ham and turkey and bacon and cheese, stick them in the oven until they're golden and then eats them hot. They're really good. When I try to make them, they either stick to the pan or burn to a crisp and I don't know why.
Damn I'm hungry and homesick.
Plus I'm pretty sure I know why I have no motivation to do anything. I think I'm falling into a depression from homesickness and just the condition of where I'm living. I'm really hoping it'll get better. If I could see them more maybe I'd feel better. I just wish I could stop being so jealous of my boyfriend; he gets to see his parents every day whether he wants to or not. He get to eat his mom's food, sleep in his room, with all his stuff and he has his friends that he could see if he wanted to. But mostly he get to see his parents day in and day out. And sometimes I hate it.
If I want to go visit my family, I have to plan it a month ahead of time sometimes and then listen to arguments about gas money and time. Then I have to figure out where I'm going to stay and for how long. Then I have to pack my backpack with what I'm going to need if I'm going for more then one day. It's a huge hassle and most of the time I don't even feel like going because of all the money issues. It might have sucked seeing each other once every two months, but at least then I didn't have to listen to complaints about where's the money going to come from.
It's my family. If it's too much of a problem to understand that I miss them more then anything and I want to see them every day and if I could, I would. But I barely ever ask to go because I know what's going to happen and it makes me feel awful.
Like a Pom bagel, not one for Tim's (even though the picture is from Tim's).
I'm also getting sick, yesterday I slept from 4.30am (I had homework to finish) and woke up at 4.30 pm and felt like crap the whole rest of my "day" (until about midnight). Today I actually woke up with my boyfriend at about eight am and I haven't eaten yet, even though I should. But my stomach's just in upheaval and I'm not sure anything's going to sit right. I'll go make something light and take my pill and hopefully I'll feel better.
I wish I could make sandwiches like my dad can. He bakes them in the oven, a really tasty twist on regular grilled cheese sandwiches. He piles them with ham and turkey and bacon and cheese, stick them in the oven until they're golden and then eats them hot. They're really good. When I try to make them, they either stick to the pan or burn to a crisp and I don't know why.
Damn I'm hungry and homesick.
Plus I'm pretty sure I know why I have no motivation to do anything. I think I'm falling into a depression from homesickness and just the condition of where I'm living. I'm really hoping it'll get better. If I could see them more maybe I'd feel better. I just wish I could stop being so jealous of my boyfriend; he gets to see his parents every day whether he wants to or not. He get to eat his mom's food, sleep in his room, with all his stuff and he has his friends that he could see if he wanted to. But mostly he get to see his parents day in and day out. And sometimes I hate it.
If I want to go visit my family, I have to plan it a month ahead of time sometimes and then listen to arguments about gas money and time. Then I have to figure out where I'm going to stay and for how long. Then I have to pack my backpack with what I'm going to need if I'm going for more then one day. It's a huge hassle and most of the time I don't even feel like going because of all the money issues. It might have sucked seeing each other once every two months, but at least then I didn't have to listen to complaints about where's the money going to come from.
It's my family. If it's too much of a problem to understand that I miss them more then anything and I want to see them every day and if I could, I would. But I barely ever ask to go because I know what's going to happen and it makes me feel awful.
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